When looking at children to determine if they are victims of sexual abuse or just being curious about their bodies, we need to know what is normal and what is abnormal behaviors. The following is a list of what can be considered appropriate and inappropriate sexual behavior for children

Preschool age (0 to 5 years)

Common:

Will have questions and express knowledge relating to:

differences in gender, private body parts,

hygiene and toileting,

pregnancy and birth.

Will explore genitals and can experience pleasure.

Showing and looking at private body parts.

Uncommon:

Having knowledge of specific sexual acts or explicit sexual language.

Engaging in adult-like sexual contact with other children.

School-age (6-8 years)

Common:

Will need knowledge and have questions about

physical development, relationships, sexual behavior

menstruation and pregnancy,

personal values.

Experiment with same-age and same gender children, often during games or role-playing.

Self stimulation in private is expected to continue.

Uncommon:

Adult-like sexual interactions,

Having knowledge of specific sexual acts,

Behaving sexually in a public place or through the use of phone or internet technology.

 

School-age (9-12 years)

Hormonal changes and external influences, such as peers, media and Internet, will increase sexual awareness, feelings and interest at the onset of puberty.

Common:

Will need knowledge and have questions about

Sexual materials and information,

Relationships and sexual behavior,

Using sexual words and discussing sexual acts and personal values, particularly with peers.

Increased experimentation with sexual behaviors and romantic relationships.

Self stimulation in private is expected to continue.

Uncommon:

Regularly occurring adult-like sexual behavior .

Behaving sexually in a public place.

 

Adolescence (13 to 16)

Common:

Will need information and have questions about

Decision making

Social relationships and sexual customs

Personal values and consequences of sexual behavior.

Self stimulation in private is expected to continue.

Girls will begin menstruation; boys will begin to produce sperm.

Sexual experimentation between adolescents of the same age and gender is common.

Voyeuristic behaviors are common in this age group.

First sexual intercourse will occur for approximately one third of teens.

Uncommon:

Masturbation in a public place.

Sexual interest directed toward much younger children.

Adapted with permission from Wurtele, S.K. and Miller-Perrin, C.L. Preventing Sexual Abuse. University of Nebraska Press. Lincoln, NE. 1992

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